Embrace Your Authenticity: Rise Above Comparison and Cultivate Inner Strength

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be, and embracing who we actually are.”- Brené Brown

Defining Authenticity

When we are authentic, we show up in the world as our most genuine selves, without pretense or façade. Authenticity is not about striving for perfection or comparing ourselves to others. It is about embracing our unique qualities, strengths, and imperfections. When we are authentic, we celebrate our individuality and recognize that our differences are what make us special.

Brené Brown says, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be, and embracing who we actually are.” It means being true to who you are – your personality, values, beliefs, and ideals. It involves embracing and expressing our true thoughts, emotions, and desires without fear of judgment or the need to conform to societal expectations.

Being in touch with our emotions and embracing them fully means allowing ourselves to experience and express a wide range of emotions, rather than suppressing or hiding them. By acknowledging and expressing our true feelings, we create an environment of honesty and vulnerability, which fosters genuine connections with others.

Authenticity is a journey of self-discovery and self-expression, allowing us to live in alignment with our true selves and find fulfillment in our lives.

Ultimately, authenticity is about honoring who we are at our core, embracing our uniqueness, and living a life that is true to ourselves rather than trying to fit into a mold defined by others. It empowers us to be the best version of ourselves and to make a genuine impact in the world. It’s also not giving away your self-worth to what others think or believe about you.

The Dangers of Comparison

Comparing yourself to others can have a detrimental effect on your well-being and your sense of self. Often comparison leaves us in the boat of unattainable standards that can leave you feeling stressed, anxious and depressed. The constant pressure to measure up or be like someone else can create a constant state of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

Comparison often leads to perfectionism, which is this unreachable, idealistic goal of never screwing up while holding yourself to unrealistic standards. According to The Gateway Foundation, perfectionism can exist within the bounds of some personality traits as well and can leave a person more vulnerable to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, OCD, eating disorders and even addiction.

When a person lives in the mindset of perfectionism and comparison, behaviors and beliefs can become rigid and inflexible. When goals and standards are not met, it can lead to low self-esteem, damaged self-worth and low mood. Those with perfectionism also struggle with imposter syndrome, a feeling that they never belong, fit in or deserve the good things that happen to them, which can quickly lead to depression.

Embracing Vulnerability

Embracing vulnerability is a crucial aspect of embracing authenticity, and it plays a significant role in our personal growth and connection with others. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and author, has extensively studied vulnerability and its impact on our lives. Her work has shed light on the power of vulnerability to transform a person’s life.

Brené Brown defines vulnerability as the willingness to show up, be seen, and be truly authentic even when there are no guarantees. It involves stepping outside of our comfort zones, taking emotional risks, and exposing our true selves to others. Vulnerability requires us to embrace uncertainty, let go of control, and be open to the possibility of rejection or failure.

She talks about living whole-heartedly, which aligns really well with cultivating inner strength.

Someone who lives from a place of worthiness, and truly believes they’re deserving of love, respect, compassion, abundance, and joy is living wholeheartedly. “Deserving” is a tough word though because everyone has been touched by pain and pain, well, it can blur our vision of self and others.

She gathered research on people who demonstrate the belief of worthiness. What she found in common with those who expressed worthiness was courage. Brené talks about the word courage. The root of the word courage is “cor” – the Latin word for heart and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. These folks that have worthiness had the courage to be imperfect and to practice self-compassion + connection as a result of authenticity. They were able to let go of who they “should” be. They also embraced vulnerability.

So how do we reach this space of worthiness and inner strength?

• Come to believe that you are enough by working through shame. Shame leaves us feeling disconnected and desperate for worthiness. Practice shame resilience:

  • Recognize shame and what triggers that feeling inside you. “Shame is biology and biography.”

  • Practice reality testing. Test the messages and thoughts that are running rampant in your mind. What are they anchored in?

  • Reach out. Connection depletes shame.

  • Own your story. If you own it, you get to write it.

• Practice gratitude: joy is linked to our gratitude. Joy is not just a feeling. It’s a spiritual way of engaging with the world. Brené points out that joy often comes in the most ordinary moments. When we get too busy chasing the extraordinary, we could really miss out on joy.

• Practice self-compassion: be warm and understanding with yourself. Do for yourself what you would do for a friend.

• Embrace Grace. Grace it not earned. It’s a gift. It’s a gift that seems so irrational that it’s often hard to accept. Here’s the best thing about grace though – even if you are struggling with worthiness, grace is still given to you. A great Biblical example of grace comes from Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. Paul talks about his struggles and that God assures him that “my grace is sufficient for you.” He was saying that no matter how low you go Paul, I’ve got you.

I want to be sensitive to the fact that some may not agree with or enjoy this last point. Whether you are a person of faith or not a person of faith, embracing grace for yourself may simply start with just being kind to yourself, even if you don’t feel worthy.

Cultivating strength and worthiness to live authentically can be challenging, but so worth it. Embrace who you are, show yourself compassion, and live life fully you.

Be well friends.

Missy Jane