Trauma and Your Personality
"When trauma has shaped you, try not to confuse who you had to become with who you can be”
- Dr. Thema Bryant Davis
***Trigger Warning: This article discusses the impacts of trauma on personality and ways to heal. Though beneficial, this information could be overwhelming to those who have survived traumatic experiences. If you or someone you know is seeking support, please see more information on our resources page.***
Traumatic experiences can have a long-lasting effect on individuals. Physical and mental changes happen, sometimes that we see, sometimes that we don’t see for years.
Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are shaped in ways that extend far beyond the initial event, and it can have a profound impact on our personality. Though such extensive change can happen, remarkable healing and growth can happen.
Read on to learn more about the transformative journey to that destination of healing and growth.
Defining Trauma and Personality
First though, we need to define a common understanding of trauma and personality. Trauma refers to any deeply distressing, upsetting or confusing event that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope. Now, trauma affects everyone differently. Someone could walk away from a minor car accident and be totally fine, mentally and physically. Someone else could walk away and have nightmares for a few weeks, while another person may struggle to get into a car for the next year because of the traumatic impact.
On the other hand, personality is the unique combination of traits, patterns of thinking, and behaviors that define who we are as individuals. Our personality develops through our genes, our environment, and the interactions between those two things. Personality is partly what you’re born with and partly what develops in a person’s thinking and behavior patterns due to environment and upbringing.
To break it down even further, temperament is a key part of personality that is determined by inherited traits (aka what we’re born with). Character is an aspect of personality influenced by experience that continues to grow and change throughout life.
For example, I have two boys. They are teens now, but before they were even born, I knew they would be wildly different. My pregnancy with my oldest was pretty calm and uneventful. My youngest on the other hand, I was sick the ENTIRE pregnancy with. He kicked me constantly!! Today? That’s who they are! The oldest is quiet and introverted, and my youngest is energetic and outgoing! Their temperaments haven’t changed since before they were born.
Our character though, is something that develops over time. It’s often influenced by the environment that we spend the most time in. You know I have this plaque that hangs on my wall in my home office. My mom got it for me, and it says:
“Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, I am my Mother After All.”
I know, some of you reading this laughed at that, others probably rolled your eyes! I get it! But have you ever noticed that sometimes the things you do and say, and think are similar to those that maybe raised you or that you spend a lot of time with?
My point is this: our character is partly influenced by the people that we are around a lot, especially as children and adolescents, when the main parts of our development are happening.
Then there is the science of personality. I’ll keep this part brief, because unless you really love facts about psych theory and development like me, you’ll probably find it boring.
But! The development of personality really has been studied for a very long time. Guys like Freud, Erikson and Piaget have theories around personality, social development and cognitive development. Then there’s Kohlberg and his development of Stages of Moral Development. I personally find this theory to be really interesting, especially when we think about our spiritual development. Regardless, all of these theories show how a person’s personality, thinking, social skills and values form. While they all say it somewhat differently, one thing is clear: It’s a process.
The Interplay between Trauma and Personality
So...how do the two meet? Again, it’s important to remember that trauma – and its impact – is not a one size fits all cozy cap.
The Mighty is an online mental health platform that allows contributors to share their own personal experiences with mental health. One contributor encouraged readers to:
“Look at the impact of trauma like you are looking through a kaleidoscope, where the images are constantly moving and shifting.”
Depending on environmental triggers, and your own personal traits, some symptoms may become more intense and then retract, kind of how like the light changes the images you see in the kaleidoscope. Your symptoms may not look the same all the time.
Developmental Impact
Development is a key concept in mental health and psychology. We tend to think about things in stages. We’re born and learn to crawl and then walk and talk. Then we get older, and we form an opinion, and we learn skills and gain knowledge and turn into adults, then we live life and get older and learn more things. These are all different stages of development that are discussed by our theoretical friends mentioned above.
Since all of the theories about personality are rooted in development from birth, it’s safe to say that any disruption to normal development can cause a shift in personality and belief systems. Trauma experienced during critical periods of development can significantly influence personality development. Childhood trauma, such as abuse or neglect, can disrupt the formation of secure attachments – AKA healthy relationships – and impair emotional regulation, leading to long-lasting effects on personality. In fact, childhood sexual abuse is a strong indicator for personality disorders, such as BPD.
Now, if you’re reading this and starting to feel alarmed, take a deep breath. Yes, it’s possible trauma caused changes. It’s also possible to heal and make new changes. Don’t run just yet! There are good things coming.
Psychological Defense Mechanisms
Our brain’s job is to help our body function. One of the most important features of that is protecting our body and mind from danger and harm. When our brain senses danger, it hops into action, and we call these psychological defense mechanisms.
Defense mechanisms play a significant role in how individuals cope with and adapt to traumatic experiences. When faced with overwhelming or distressing events, the mind employs defense mechanisms as a means of self-protection and emotional regulation. We all have and use defense mechanisms. These defense mechanisms serve to reduce anxiety, shield the individual from painful memories or emotions, and maintain psychological equilibrium. However, it's important to note that while defense mechanisms can be helpful in the short term, they can also hinder the healing process if relied upon excessively or rigidly.
Francis Littauer is one of my favorite personality writers. In her books about the four different personality traits, she touches on the intersection of trauma and personality. She states that:
“We are each wired a certain way, but that also we learn to wear certain traits as a mask.”
For instance, maybe you know someone who has experienced a traumatic situation as an adult, or even a teen in your life. Maybe that person was always incredibly outgoing, bubbly, and personable. Yet, after this traumatic event, maybe domestic violence, or a toxic work situation, maybe this person is now introverted and quiet. They are wearing a mask that covers their true personality. That mask protects us in certain situations. Eventually though, that mask can start to become who we are. We can forget the real person underneath the mask. This can also be a survival skill for some.
Here’s a quick breakdown of the common defense mechanisms that we may use in response to trauma:
Repression: Repression involves the unconscious blocking of distressing memories, thoughts, or emotions associated with the traumatic event. This mechanism allows us to push these experiences out of our conscious awareness, temporarily relieving the immediate distress. However, repressed memories can (and sometimes do at the WORST time) resurface later, which can potentially cause some major difficulties in our relationships, jobs, or other aspects of life.
Denial: Denial involves the conscious or unconscious just outright refusal to accept the reality or impact of a traumatic event. We might minimize the severity of the trauma, downplay its consequences, or even convince ourselves that it never occurred. Denial can provide a temporary sense of protection, but it really hinders the processing and integration of the traumatic experience.
Dissociation: Dissociation is a defense mechanism that involves a detachment from one's thoughts, feelings, sensations, or memories. It is often described as a state of "mental escape" from the traumatic event. We might have a tendency to “space out” or “go numb” when experiencing a trauma symptom or a trigger. Dissociation can range from mild detachment to more severe forms, such as dissociative amnesia or dissociative identity disorder (DID). While dissociation can temporarily shield individuals from overwhelming emotions, it can disrupt their sense of identity and coherence.
Rationalization: Rationalization involves justifying the traumatic event or its consequences. We provide logical and plausible explanations for what happened. By finding alternative explanations or assigning blame elsewhere, individuals attempt to preserve their sense of control and protect their self-esteem. However, excessive rationalization can prevent individuals from confronting the true impact of the trauma.
Projection: When we talk about projection, it’s really just attributing our thoughts, emotions, or motivations onto others. We might project our unresolved feelings about our trauma onto others, perceiving them as threatening or hostile, when in reality, the source of fear or pain lies within us. This defense mechanism keeps the turmoil outside of us and maintains a sense of safety.
It is important to note that defense mechanisms are not inherently negative or pathological. They are natural psychological processes that help us navigate overwhelming experiences. However, if defense mechanisms persist long after the traumatic event or hinder our ability to heal and grow, they may become really unhelpful, maybe even harmful, and require therapeutic intervention. If your defense mechanisms are starting to mess up your relationships, or your mental health, it might be time to seek support, or at least be aware that there might be something going on.
Trauma can profoundly impact our self-identity.
It can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, or worthlessness. It can distort our self-perception and erode our self-esteem. Consequently, our personality can be shaped by a struggle to reclaim a sense of self and establish a coherent identity. One writer on the Mighty stated
“I don’t have a personality. Everyone tells me ‘just be yourself.’ I’ve been lost for so many years due to constant and consecutive trauma throughout my entire childhood. I never had a chance to discover who I truly was and that makes recovery so much more difficult.” — Jennifer M.
Trauma and Personality Disorders
Trauma can create a disordered personality. When we talk about personality disorders, we’re talking about a pervasive pattern of long-lasting negative traits that have taken over and have an impact on our daily functioning. There are quite a few personality disorders, but common ones related to trauma are:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): One of the most commonly recognized outcomes of trauma is PTSD. Individuals with PTSD may experience intrusive memories, hypervigilance, and emotional numbing, significantly altering their personality and capacity for interpersonal connections.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): BPD is another condition closely associated with trauma. Individuals with BPD often exhibit intense emotional instability, impulsive behavior, and difficulties with self-image and interpersonal relationships, stemming from adverse experiences. "Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a psychiatric disorder featured by intense fears of abandonment, difficulties in emotion regulation, feelings of emptiness, unstable interpersonal relationships, impulsivity, and heightened risk-taking behaviors, as well as high levels of interpersonal aggression," state the authors of research led by Benjamin Otto of Ruhr-University Bochum in Germany.
The Transformative Journey: Healing and Growth
While trauma undoubtedly leaves its mark on personality, it’s also really important to understand that healing and growth are possible. We can embark on a transformative journey that allows us to reclaim our lives and rebuild our sense of self. We can learn the skills we need to truly thrive.
How??
Therapeutic Interventions: Psychotherapy, particularly trauma-focused approaches, can help us process and integrate traumatic experiences. We can also learn skills to manage crisis situations and other wellness techniques from therapy and coaching. Techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) are effective in addressing trauma-related symptoms and fostering resilience.
Building Resilience: Resilience plays a crucial role in navigating the aftermath of trauma. Engaging in self-care practices, cultivating healthy coping mechanisms, and fostering social support networks are essential components of building resilience and facilitating personal growth. Celebrate Recovery is a great support group resource, with meetings all over the nation that help with anyone with hurts and hangups. You can also connect with online support at groups like our very own Anchored & Ambitious Women of Faith on Facebook.
Post-Traumatic Growth: The journey of healing from trauma can lead to post-traumatic growth, where we experience positive psychological changes and develop a newfound appreciation for life. This growth often involves the reevaluation of personal values, a deepening of relationships, and a greater sense of purpose. The support mentioned above is critical during these periods of reevaluation.
Trauma and personality are intricately interconnected, with traumatic experiences significantly influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Recognizing the impact of trauma on personality not only enables us to embark on our own journey of healing and growth; it also allows us to approach other individuals with compassion, understanding, and support. If you are on your own journey of healing, I hope this information is helpful; and I hope you know just how AMAZING and loved you are.
To Your Transformational Journey,
Missy Jane
